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New Heart-Shaped Bath Bombs! Hey, Lova Babes! Like, why is it that the male orgasm is THE measure of success in a heterosexual encounter?

WTF is up with that?! For the longest time I have heard my friends value whether sex is good or not based solely on whether their male counterpart came. Those two scenarios may seem different, but they are very similar; they both prioritize the male orgasm. We both have had our self-esteem fall victim to the success or failure of the male orgasm; the more we talked and did some research, the more we realized these feelings are more common than our own past experiences.

We would love to say our threshold for good sex has always been when both the man and woman cum, right? The answer: a big, fat nope. If we look at society through a heterosexual lens, the male orgasm is the trophy that determines successful sex. This not only completely ostracizes anyone who does not identify as straight, but it is also detrimental to how women value themselves within heterosexual relationships. I spent all of my time thinking about how to please my partner and spent none of it thinking about my own pleasure or even being deserving of pleasure.

Sex is supposed to be pleasurable and fun for everyone involved. When only one partner reaches orgasm and the other is neither taught to ask for pleasure nor told that they are deserving of pleasure, it is a BIG problem. When I got to college and went through my party hook-ups and one-night stand phase, I would leave with someone, have unsatisfying and meaningless sex, and then immediately rush home to masturbate. What started as a routine quickly became something of a self-fulfilling prophecy.