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By Emma McGowan. The aftereffects of an assault can last way beyond the assault itself. And while every survivor is different, one of those effects may be pain during sex.
These long-term trauma responses to sexual situations are likely caused by dysregulation of the autonomic nervous system, which has two parts: the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. But a traumatic event pushes you past the window of tolerance. In the case of a survivor of sexual trauma, that out-of-whack nervous system response can be triggered by even thinking about the event. For people who have suffered from chronic sexual trauma , like child sexual abuse, the physical results can be chronic and include diffuse pain, abdominal or pelvic pain, and a lower pain threshold, among others.
That fight, flight, or freeze response is blocking you, preventing you from learning, changing, and healing. Your body has learned that certain sights, acts, or smells lead to pain, so it responds by cramping up or not allowing anything to enter it or hurting when something does enter it.
But the good news is that just as your body learned to respond in this way to sexual situations, so too can it learn to respond in new ways. As a first step toward being able to have pain-free sex again, Eborn recommends not having sex at all! Well, at least not with another person. Figure out what your body likes at a low-stakes level.
