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In a sexual landscape shaped by pornography, far too many incorrectly believe that choking is routine and risk-free. W hen I was 19 I was at a birthday event. The conversation carried on as if nothing out of the ordinary had just been said. Choking during partnered sex is a form of sexual asphyxiation.
The pressure around the neck cuts off the flow of blood, resulting in blood congestion in the brain. The effect is lightheadedness due to the drop in oxygen levels and increase in carbon dioxide. For some this intensifies erotic pleasure. This all sounds quite extreme when you spell it out like this, but in the moment all that is needed is a hand around the neck during an intimate moment.
Other than the deprivation of oxygen to the brain, many women have told me that the gesture is erotic in itself, as it instantly adds an overt power dynamic into a sexual act. In human sexuality, kinkiness is the use of non-conventional sexual practices, concepts or fantasies.
Choking in sex is a kink. Experts have warned that there is no safe way to engage in this act. Humans take risks all the time. The concern does not lie with this kink, where ideally it would involve conversations and research that allow people to take a calculated risk, but instead with the fact that it has become mainstream to the point where it is too often assumed that consent is not necessary, and that it seems a standard part of sexual activity in young people.