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Jessica Camille Aguirre is a writer and magazine journalist whose work focuses on climate change and extremes. She is currently working on a book about Biosphere 2 and how re-creating nature shaped our understanding of the planet.
A good scammer sees opportunity everywhere, including their own downfall. They had come once before, when a neighbor complained about his trash. Daphne happened to be swimming in his pool at the time, and because he is French, he came to the front door in a tiny little bathing suit. The police were appalled; they gave him a reprimand about storing his garbage more tidily and scurried away. This time was different.
The cops came straight into the house. There were a dozen of them, wearing bulletproof vests. They took him outside in handcuffs and put him in a car. Maybe he was paranoid, having built a multimillion-dollar empire on fraud and deceit, nurturing connections with international criminal rings, but at first he thought that he was being kidnapped. When he saw the jail, he was relieved. The feeling was short-lived. OK, he thought. There must be a way. He would find the right people, negotiate the right conditions.
He had to smoke! He loved to smoke. He loved it more than anything, except for women. He loved women! And smoking, and art, and shopping. He found someone in the prison whom everyone called El Gordo, a Mexican guy who could hook people up with anything. This was not a problem. His mansion had once belonged to a silent film star; he sometimes commuted by helicopter. El Gordo looked at him, then gave him a nicotine patch. He felt great. He was buoyant with health. He boarded a plane to Switzerland in handcuffs, was whisked to a prison near the Alps, and was put in a cell.
