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Not only do we want sex--we want to know who our friends and family are having sex with. We want to know who our co-workers are having sex with. We want to know who our Hollywood stars are having sex with. For reasons which remain inscrutable, we even want to know who our politicians are having sex with. Hell, we've spent the last 13 months--and a fortune--investigating our philandering President's pathetic sex life! Unless you buy that crap that it wasn't about sex So, last December, with a zeal for detail normally reserved for the Office of the Independent Counsel, we asked you readers to share your sex lives with us.
And, boy, did you ever--more than of you responded, from which we've somewhat haphazardly produced this utterly unscientific sex survey. Sadly, we didn't have space for every single one of those essays--particularly those lengthy detailed accounts of sexcapades involving farm animals--but we're running those we could fit in the pages that follow.
If you kept copies of your work, we're sure several men's magazines would be interested. Parental advisory: Respondents tended to be quite graphic--and fairly, shall we say, open-minded--in their responses, particularly to the essay questions, so you'll probably want to keep this issue out of the hands of children.
But then, it's not much worse than the Starr Report--and that was funded with your tax dollars and mailed to every household in the United States, courtesy of the House Republicans.