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There are some sights no human being should ever be subjected to, sights so unbearably ghastly that even John Ashcroft would label them cruel and unusual punishment. But this … this is too much. Head for the hills. Pack your stuff. Board up the windows. To arms!
Actually, Rodney Dangerfield is always naked: In bed. In front of the TV. Eating a hoagie. Thinking up a joke. Digging through a drawer in search of a bag of marijuana and his lighter. His gut is large and his skin is wrinkly, and the fact that federal law prohibits fleshy, year-old men from exposing themselves to strangers seems lost on him. What do I care what people think? To be myself. It is an illuminating statement, because the Rodney Dangerfield the public knows is not real.
Onstage or in front of a camera, Dangerfield sparkles. He is, even at his advanced age, a bolt of electricity, a continuous stream of caustic one-liners that whoosh past your head at mph:. She cut me down to once a month. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. When I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself. As the laughter grows louder and louder, the familiar Dangerfield emerges, tugging on his tie, nodding his head, running his hand through his gray hair.
Beads of sweat — good, comfortable sweat, the motor oil of the stand-up comedian — form across his brow. He is on a roll. The true Rodney Dangerfield is not there on the stage. It is only his oasis, a temporary reprieve from gloom.