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She was on a pilgrimage to find her inner self. At first their conversation was about her father, who in her mind was the archetypal Don Juan. She explained that he was a well-known musician in his own right, that he was from Barcelona, and that he was a narcissist, a powerfully erotic one. Pouring her heartbreak into the diary in an attempt to persuade him to come back, she wrote and wrote and wrote.
He never did. He married an heiress and stayed in Europe until the ghosts of his past caught up with him. What was on her mind, and would Rank condone what had happened?
Would he be able to make sense of it? He had taken nude photos of her and the other children in what can only be interpreted as a highly erotic way, while also telling her she was ugly. Basically he raped her innocence. This time it was not mutual seduction but primal abuse revisited, if one may use such a term. Guiler felt that her father was a violent and paternalistic man who manipulated her feelings in a completely selfish way.
Such sexual abuse might well become a defining moment in her life, a profoundly disturbing one, when the past collides with the present to shape the future into a completely new form of alienation.