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When that happens, it is his duty — if not necessarily his pleasure — to report them fairly, accurately as he sees them. Click on the titles for the full reviews.

We professional movie critics count it a banner week when only one movie involves eating, falling into or being covered by excrement or a cameo appearance by Carson Daly. We are not prudes. We are prepared to laugh. I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it.

Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it. But they usually made me care about how bad they were. The movie resolutely avoids all the comic possibilities of its situation, and becomes one more dumb high school comedy about sex gags and prom dates…. It is too vulgar for anyone under 13, and too dumb for anyone over The best thing about it is that it runs for only 75 minutes….

Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks. My guess is that African Americans will be offended by the movie, and whites will be embarrassed. The movie will bring us all together, I imagine, in paralyzing boredom.