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There was, however, the shitty parade that limps past our house every Memorial Day, so that was the only real tell-tale sign that there were soldier-things to be recognizing and appreciating. So we did that, but not without making fun of the terrible small-child dance troupes doing crippled cartwheels in front of our yard. The Shriners are the only good part of the parade because they drive stupid miniature trucks and tricycle-like things.

Then we got to see some of the Catholic School Cunt-Moms oozing down the road cuntastically with their stupid Girl Scout daughters. God, I hate those bitches. That was me talking to God. In fact, I think I might start believing in God just so they DO have to share him with an asshole like me. Chooch saw a bunch of girls he knows from school and also ate a bunch of candy that was chucked at him by people who have no real purpose being in a parade, so he was already pretty hyper.

But then this happened:. Last week, Henry was picking Chooch up from school and overheard him telling Courtney to call him. I think it would have been even better if she actually called Henry.

Anyway, Courtney was in the parade for whatever reason. So when she was walking past, she happened to casually glance over at our house and did a double take when she saw Henry. Once she saw Henry, she started craning her head all around until she spotted Chooch. She pointed at him and yelled his name, causing him to turn beet red and fall to the ground. Later, we went to Sheetz and got food for a Memorial Day picnic in some park where Henry started preaching about how you can drink your own pee if you really needed to so that became our new Mocking Henry subject matter.