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She posted it on Reddit, where her sexcuses quickly went viral. The Internet had a solid laugh. Aside from the much-needed LOL we got from the sex spreadsheet story during a week of grueling, awful news, it brings up an important question — is it possible to owe your partner sexual satisfaction in the same way you owe payments on your student loan? In short, no. When, if, how and why we have sex within our committed relationships is generally fraught with complexity and confusion.

Every relationship and its attendant sexual rhythm is unique — yet some gender stereotypes still prevail. In the old story, when heterosexual men signed up for marriage, they bought a virgin with an engagement ring. Put a ring on it and your wifey will put a ring on… well, you get my point. Three months salary is probably worth it to the men who continue to think these antiquated thoughts. Oh, s — you were just the best.

This model of sexual relations is grounded in the idea that women have no sexual desire, let alone sexual agency. Forget about love, romance, or sex — this worldview says all women are seeking is a good provider. These two are not married to each other, just to be clear. What this sex spreadsheet-making is really doing is telling us that a lot of people have crappy sex lives and that they resent it enough to make it public.

Perhaps they never really wanted their husbands in the first place, but married them anyway. I think this is a lot more widespread than we ever considered. This, I guess, is supposed to be one step up from not being allowed to have sex at all, except for procreation. There is a shockingly huge number of people that believe pleasure is a sin.