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Just when you thought the discussion of sex was taboo enough, I welcome you to the act of degrading during sex. On the complete opposite side of the spectrum is the act of praise during sex, as the name suggests it is based on words of affirmation, and positive reinforcement. So why do some people enjoy these? Is it possible to find pleasure in both elements?

And how can you incorporate this into your sex life? I was honestly surprised about the lack of information available about the psychology of degradation, especially for a kink that is becoming increasingly more discussed. The primary understanding that came up in multiple articles was the element of taboo that makes degradation appealing to others. The thing that changes degrading from an act of bullying to a source of pleasure is context and consent.

Sex and real life are not the same. The difference between what you are comfortable with in the bedroom versus in a real life or public scenario entirely depends on consent and the element of choice. Whilst you have consented to be called a whore in the bedroom, being called that by a random guy in a car is completely different—the consent and context are not there. Sexual objectification and degradation are not okay at all in real life, but they can be okay in the bedroom.

The understanding that consent is key to incorporating degrading should not be taken lightly. In order for everyone involved to feel safe and find pleasure from degradation, there needs to be regular talks about limits, boundaries, and what you want to gain from the scene. In the heat of the moment, it can be easy for a degradation scene to be taken too far, even with one simple comment or act. Due to this, it is essential to have advanced planning before attempting any act of degradation.