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I should have known. We were supposed to meet at the antiquarian bookshop by the Margaret Bridge at five-thirty, but in the half-hour that elapsed before the snug little store finally shut its door and the lingering customers dispersed with disenchanted stares into the summer rain, eight trams came off the bridge from the Buda side of the Danube and, no, of all the passengers who got off—not one was Violetta. Her eyes, under splendidly arched brows and a forehead so broad and white it looked naked, as though it were her belly, were frozen in a perpetual squint one noticed only upon a closer look: youthful pain or skepticism that persisted no matter what I did to make her happy or to quell her doubts; but I would not see this from far away.
Violetta had accepted the gift without hesitation after a long talk with the man, although her English was so mediocre I doubt she understood what it was all about. But my argument was hopeless. Even her sedate tone of voice irritated me, as I already seemed to be losing her to their influence.
I was surprised to find it in a used bookstore; since it had appeared only a year before, I assumed I still had plenty of time to convince the publisher, a friend of a friend, to have me translate an excerpt into English for sale abroad. I was slipping toward debt, and this book could spell financial security for a few months. But that was not all: Mr. Hitler fished out an apparently magnificent specimen, followed by his two aides and, last, Mr.
I did wonder momentarily whether Borhidi had made this up, but decided that with all the odd sources at the disposal of a diligent historian, surely the incident was plausible - why not? Embroiled in such thoughts one would think I had happily distracted myself from the problem at hand, but alas, all the while I thought: no Violetta. The awareness that this would lead inevitably to an argument, if only a trivial one, pained me more than the argument itself ever would; for by the time the shouting ended I would be strong and firm knowing I was right—after all, I was here and she was not.
