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Two weeks ago, I wrote a column about the early-bird special at the Jupiter massage frequented by NFL football owner Robert Kraft and a lot of local men. I reasoned that early-bird specials for illicit rub-n-tug massages at the police-raided Orchids of Asia Day Spa was a cultural milestone for South Florida that ought to be memorialized by poetic odes. In this case, limericks. So I came up with some limericks and asked readers to submit their own entries, offering to publish some of them in a future column.
Before I get to your poems, I want to acknowledge the many submissions I received. I suspect that some of this may be due to the excellent rhyming possibilities this story affords. But I think the real reason is that, given the chance, we all crave more limericks in our lives. Cynthia MacGregor, of Palm Springs, was the most prolific area poet, and in this submission she makes a funny connection between Chinese cuisine and Chinese massages.
Molly Brown of Hobe Sound had two terrific submissions. I've picked this one because it addresses a topic others didn't. The following submission by Chris Gross of Palm Beach Gardens gets extra credit for throwing a little Yiddish into the mix — always a good comedic idea. Like this one. Bill Brosnan of Boynton Beach submitted a promising limerick that developed a structural problem at the end.
The last line has to rhyme with the first two. Steven Giddens of Port St. Lucie strayed from the topic a little bit, but in a clever way, by taking a jab at me, which is always appreciated.