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On a sunny Saturday afternoon the summer after graduation, I sat through brunch with friends, nursing a mimosa and a hangover. The night before, I'd talked and then danced and made out with a bearded guy in a bar—whiskey-soaked necking that left my chin red and raw. My phone chimed as I picked at my omelet, and when I read the text, I cringed. My friends cringed too. I'd liked him enough during the buzzy night: He was confident and direct and hair-grabbingly aggressive to the right degree.
I felt pretty and desirable and a bit like prey in his hands. He was kind of a Bad Boy. It was hot, it was fun. Now here he was acting like a Nice Guy.
This softer side—the one that wanted to consult on a bottle of wine and split dessert—threw me, a commitment-phobic postgrad, for a loop. Which makes you shake your head and maybe a fist , right? Here's a decent guy, perhaps like yourself, being derided over brunch.
Meanwhile you watch your female friends date assholes and see hot girls at clubs climb into cabs with world-class douche bags. Yes, we're guilty of this behavior, and there's a briefcase full of evidence to prove it. Research shows that men who rate high in narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism traits cinematically called the "Dark Triad" do get more tail. Conversely, a new study finds that being too nice too early isn't sexually appealing.
