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I was curious whether my perception of differences in ages was accurate — I had thought that most of my friends were within a five year gap, but Geoff countered that he thought among our peer group the difference was narrower, more like two years. What better way to check than to ask the internet? The responses were quite interesting, not least because some people offered their thoughts about why the age gap looked like it did.
In general, my sense that gaps of two, three and four years were most common seemed to be borne out, although more people than I was expecting said they felt the average among their peer group was a year or two years.
People identified outliers fifteen or twenty years difference , but tended to label them as outside the norm, either within the peer group or usual social patterns. So why was this on my mind? Because of the Roman Life Course class I am teaching today, looking at age asymmetrical marriage in the Roman world. I spent most of my Christmas and New Year working through the Lives in question myself, and tracing the marital histories of Antony, Cicero and Pompey.
Pompey is the particularly interesting example; he married five times, prolific even in a society that structured itself to encourage remarriage wherever possible. However, his fourth and fifth marriages show a really interesting shift in perception.