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This is not the case with the Japanese sense of aware —people are aware of the beauty of full blossoms, of course, but are more touched and deeply moved when these blossoms are falling or beginning to wilt.
Dre and Snoop—we had Harbored Grudges. We had Had Words. There had been Band Drama. And Infighting. Some members had Been Replaced. And I, bald for a decade and five to 10 pounds above fighting weight, had Had a Child. Why not Tour Japan? To which the Record Label had said: You could. The Risk would be yours, but we could Facilitate. We know an Importer-Exporter. You could Pull It Off. We lie to Japanese customs officials.
We are tourists, we say, a designation that, if legally inexact, is accurate given the unlikelihood that this trip will break even. Once through customs, we are met by a goateed man wearing an Ignition shirt. Reader, kindly note a neutral, nondiscriminatory observation: Japanese folks, or at least those I expect to meet on tour, speak little English. Exhibit A:. But this is not Racism. I am just Reporting the News. It is Just the Way It Is. Do not Shoot the Messenger.
His walls are concrete. He has Wi-Fi. Nook is precious to me. Here, in his embrace, I will spend the plurality, if not the majority of my time in Japan. In fact, for the Ugly American traveler, Japan, where the average adult male is five-foot-six and the coffin-style capsule hotel was invented, is a nation of houseboats and the home of Houseboat Madness. Symptoms: 1 Claustrophobia; 2 bitchiness; 3 achiness of the back and neck caused by falling asleep in unnatural positions in small spaces during Jet Lag Moments; and 4 the desire to scream and run outside, weather and propriety be damned.
