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As you draw closer, you begin to make out the figures more clearly. They wear red masks and are clearly brandishing rifles. You move your foot to press down on the accelerator, only to find the two masked figures have leapt in front of your car and pointed their guns and torches at you, screaming at you to stop. Panicked, you slam down on the brake pedal, sending the ashes from your cigarettes flying all over the windscreen.
Comrade, write down her license plate number while I fucking grill her. We can overcome this contradiction by affirming the truth that the negation of the negation of the negation contains a negation which is both negation and affirmation. You read the Science of Logic? Desperate times call for desperate measures. We need your fuel to make petrol bombs for our ongoing guerrilla campaign against Liechtenstein. Throw your car in neutral, and good luck making it to your destination.
Withdrawing their weapons, the Spatular guerrillas disappear into the darkness of the Alpine wilderness. Then consider donating as little as one imperialist Yankee dollar a month to supporting our work!
Es ist wohlbekannt, dass Liechtenstein Teil der Alpenachse des finanzkapitalistischen Imperialismus, die der wahre Strippenzieher des kapitalistisch-imperialistischen Weltsystems ist. Wir wissen, dass ihr, vielleicht 20 junge Menschen, auf uns baut als Avantgardekraft die euren Kampf gegen Liechtenstein von innen lenkt. Wir sagen: NEIN! Geht am Cacophonously, the anthems of several rival Turkish anti-revisionist organisations begin playing simultaneously over shitty cell phone speakers which are clearly nowhere near the microphone.