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He is a great guy, and he is very good with my son. We have been talking about getting married. He has never been married before, and I am gun-shy, to say the least. Last week, Ben took me out for a drink. He said he had something important to tell me. I have a stable, successful career. Ben seems underemployed. He is a relaxed, fun person.
He said the debt came from purchasing a car and, more recently, from a ski vacation he went on with some friends. I feel extremely uncomfortable now. I am wondering if Ben expects me to clear his debt by using some of the equity on my house.
Your wisdom? Because his choice to lay this on you without a specific plan of action seems to be a bid for you to take this on. People who have a lot of consumer debt who continue with their spending will sometimes try to get their problem to go away by simply shifting it to someone else.
I suggest you take this conversation to the next level. Ask for complete transparency and documentation. I think it is somewhat likely that more debt will emerge once he opens up his books.