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In fact, there might even be some benefits to taking penetration off the menu for a bit. We talked to sex therapist extraordinaire Heather Davidson, Ed. It takes planning, time, and effort that starts outside of the bedroom.

The reality is that in any long-term relationship there will be points where penetrative sex is not available. Even when penetration is an activity you really like, the pressure to have penetrative sex can be a desire killer. It can also highlight that the couples' connection is not primarily about penetrative sex.

A lot of people enjoy outercourse activities more than penetrative sex this can be anything from kissing to oral sex! The pressure to have penetrative sex can be a desire killer. Taking penetrative sex off the menu might even make you want to have sex more often penetrative or otherwise! Sometimes I then see couples get into power struggles over who will be the one to initiate sexual contact as both usually feel the other should be the one to do so. Sounds good!

So, what can we do instead of having penetrative sex? But if one partner is not looking to engage sexually, then Davidson does not recommend taking this approach or trying out the sexy activities below right now. This could be naked or clothed! Feel free to add some music, candles, lotion or oils. Experiment with asking to be massaged in particular places and specific levels of pressure or frequency. You could even introduce a nice glass of wine! Give yourselves a helping hand wink wink and masturbate side-by-side, or put those fingers to work on your partner and theirs on you.