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I have always subscribed to the idea that feminism, in its purest form, is about choice. Want to be an astronaut and fly to the moon? Do it. Care to forego marriage and children entirely? Power to you. Prefer to stay at home to raise your kids? Hats off.

What is this gut-flipping repulsion that comes over me when Gen-Z and millennial housewives or practising SAHGs stay-at-home girlfriends promote patriarchal relationship values online?

Why is it that me and my urban, financially independent, working mom friends all find ourselves shouting back at their videos in such a tizz? Some of the women I respect most in the world are homemakers — albeit the less submissive sort. Should we really feel threatened by a niche group of self-promoting, flower-arranging, bread-baking homesteaders? The thing is, the trad wife subculture is big , and getting bigger: the topic has over million views on TikTok.

My sister — a tech founder and mother of two — DMs me clips of a woman who goes by BallerinaFarm, who documents her home births, cow-milking and from-scratch cooking achievements for her 8. I myself feel a shiver run down my spine when I scroll the TradWivesClub account — a sort of how-to manual for those aspiring to the lifestyle. I have trouble buying it. Surely behind every trad wife is the influence of some outdated patriarchal value system. What woman — what person, for that matter — would choose to play second fiddle to their partner if given another option?