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More Singapore women may skip marriage. Are gender relations behind this?

When it comes to matters of the heart, it's not always as clear as black and white. A lot of what happens remains in the elusive grey area.

Until today, I don't know if what I did was right. It doesn't seem explicitly wrong, but it seems to have crossed the line of what's acceptable. Ben is my colleague, I've known him from the day I first started work. I was already married to Kevin then. About three years into my job, I started getting close to Ben.

I cannot for the life of me remember how and when it started. What started as breakfast eventually led to us having breakfast, lunch and random coffee sessions between our otherwise busy days. We talked. A lot. We talked about everything under the sun. Politics, feminism, economics, sex, sports, you name it.

I was fascinated by Ben's intellect. He seemed so knowledgeable. I loved how Ben challenged my opinions and ignited the spark of knowledge in me. I never realised how minute-breakfast breaks became hour-long sessions. I never realised how even when Ben and I were surrounded by other colleagues, we were lost in our own world of conversation. Somewhere along the way, the conversations became more personal. Ben told me many things about himself.

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