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When Nisha performs the burial ceremony for AJ, her year-old son, she has to imagine his body lowering into the earth. Without a body, cremation is impossible. A pot of ghee, a spoonful of raw honey, sandalwood oil. A garland of marigolds sewn together, the flowers bought earlier from the Cornwall Park Superette on Great South Road. Psalm 23, written out by Nisha on a sheet of paper pressed with petals. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.
Instead, she imagines him whole, perfect, hands clasped as if in prayer. She does not cry, yet her skin prickles with the sense that someone is watching her, keeping time with her, but when she turns around, she sees no one. She comes from a line of fire, this much she knows. Nisha is Tamil; yet Tamil or Sinhala are just superficial distinctions to her. Dig deeper for descriptions more resonant with meaning: merchant, poet, warrior, peasant.
Thousands of couplings, some volitional, some forced, across the still heat of centuries. She comes from a line of people who embrace uncertainty, the spirit world, the existence of knowledge beyond touch, taste, sight or sound. Death has had no impediment on their constant catty comments: You are looking too fat, Nisha, time to cut down.
We know a nice Tamil boy from the up-country station, ask your Appa to make a proposal before you become an old crone. Ferment the ground rice batter for three days, get the hopper pan sizzling, serve with hot hot sambol, no man will be able to resist your palappum. They follow her to New Zealand. I forgive you. She folds the marigold wreath inside, carefully covering the hole with more soil.
