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You need to tell them what you really want. If you and your partner want wildly different things in bed, or have very different libidos, you may be experiencing sexual incompatibility. Usually, it just means the two of you need to have an open and vulnerable conversation to get to the heart of what your needs are and what's missing.
More often it's a matter of having different preferences. The good news is, while at first these differences might be perceived as an incompatibility, they're certainly not impossible to overcome. In most cases, sexual incompatibility is really just a lack of communication issue or a lack of knowledge issue, Basel explains. This makes sense, as research has found that perceived sexual satisfaction is closely linked to relationship satisfaction.
Understanding sexual incompatibility—and addressing it when needed—is an important aspect of maintaining a solid relationship. Keels shared some of the typical signs of sexual incompatibility:. A frequent dynamic seen in sexual incompatibility is when one partner avoids intimacy, and the other partner ends up feeling rejected or frustrated, says Sophie Cress, a licensed marriage and family therapist LMFT. There are many factors that can impact sexual incompatibility, including personal trauma, resentment in a relationship, anxiety, or difficulties with self image, says Basel.
Factors like differences in sleep patterns, cleanliness, eating habits, self-care, or parenting styles can contribute too, Basel adds. Keels says there are two main factors that she sees frequently in couples experiencing sexual incompatibility: differences in sexual desires, and trouble with communication.
