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There ceases to be a limit on how many times Michael can get fisted at Berghain. When Switzerland Tourism invited me and four other queer journalists on a press trip to show us just how gay Switzerland can be, I doubted the country famed for its neutrality could rival any of my favorite travel spots when it came to queer culture, including my favorite aspect of queer culture: butt sex. After all, the country only legalized same-sex marriage in , making them one of the last countries in Western Europe to do so.

Nevertheless, I decided to attend. It's a free trip, so why not? But I made a little game out of it. I privately challenged the country to prove how gay it was, so I decided to rate each destination on a scale of zero to five gay stars, giving points for anything I determined to be ostensibly gay. It was a cute little space with most of the guys being friendly and dancing. The evening gained a whole star when four drag queens lip-synced to Lady Marmalade.

Such a classic. Gay rights! I give this evening 4 out of 5 gay stars. I woke up violently hungover at the five-star Lausanne Palace. It's one of those places where you feel guilty walking through the lobby hungover because everything is so beautiful. Minus one star; making a queer man feel guilty on vacation is homophobic. By the evening, I was ready to hit the town again. Instead of going to Pink Beach Sauna—which a few local guys on Grindr recommended—I went to a place called New-Relax Sauna because it was by the hotel.

Go to Pink Beach Sauna. Listen to the locals! We took the train to Bern and only stayed there for a few hours, but we did go to an exhibit titled Queer — Diversity is in Our Nature at the Natural History Museum Naturhistorisches Museum. It shows how common gay and bisexual sexual behaviors happen in the animal kingdom. It also shows how many living beings change their sex and can reproduce without a male.