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My relationship with my South Asian heritage has been an interesting one and has been evolving throughout my life. In my earlier years, I rejected many aspects of my culture. My school in Islamabad was largely anglicised and there was never a huge amount of importance placed on learning Urdu my ancestral language. When I moved to Mississauga a few years later, after some playful mockery from my new peers, I quickly assimilated and the hint of Pakistani in my accent slowly faded.
Years later when I moved to Cheshire for high school, I kept my Pakistani roots well-hidden and rather perceived my Canadian-ness as pertinent to climb up the social ladder. This resulted in the gradual erosion of my mother tongue, which I really felt when returning to Pakistan or meeting fellow Pakistanis. Migration had directly affected my linguistic practices and it was difficult to feel fully Pakistani when I could barely string together a sentence in Urdu.
As I grew older I learnt to appreciate the grace and beauty that comes with my culture and I made frequent trips back to Pakistan. After my second year of core training in psychiatry, I took a year out of my programme to work in Karachi at a mental health organisation, Pakistan Institute of Living and Learning PILL. This was encouraged by the Royal College of Psychiatrists and was an extremely enriching and life-changing experience for me.
I learnt about the various pathways of care, how mental illness presentations vary between cultures and the different explanatory models of illness. It was here that I decided to pursue a parallel career in film production. After months working in Pakistan I came to realise the stark inequalities in health care and that stigma and lack of awareness were the main barriers to people receiving treatment for severe mental illnesses. In order to overcome these obstacles, I found myself getting immersed in the arts and utilising the medium of film to engage the public.